Happiness

There are a lot of ups and downs in life. Like, a down would be that I spent $75 dollars at Rite Aid last night for things that I needed...and for things that I didn't need. The bill ran up to be $95, which was a major surprise - I should probably add up the prices in my head before I head to the cash register. So I removed the Neutrogena Ageless Intensives Tone Correcting Moisturizer for $20 -something that I probably really did need. But I could have gone without the $2 nail polish (which color I'm pretty sure I already have), or the $3 eye shadow brush, or the nudish-pink lip liner, since I don't even wear lipstick. And instead of buying a cheap razor to make up for the more expensive spending, I realized after shaving this morning that I probably should have binged a little and bought the nicer one. And perhaps the $.88 cent Suave shampoo IS just as good as the $8 per bottle shampoo and conditioner. (Ok, maybe not...) I think I was having an ugly day and I just needed stuff to make me feel good about myself and make me pretty. I also got the Neutrogena Body Oil. My skin isn't looking any more luminous than it did before I put it on. Maybe I'm just being a negative Nancy and need to give it more than one try. I think I just feel guilty for spending so much, especially at Christmas time when I need to be buying presents for other people. BUT, I will focus on the positive and say that I am happy because my hair will smell good and my legs will be smooth and my toenails will be red and my skin will feel soft.
I ordered a new David Lanz piano book. Jon and I went to his concert on Saturday and it was amazing. My new favorite song is called "Her Solitude" so I went to the mall on Monday night and bought the book at the music store. (I love how festive the mall is, with the huge Christmas tree and the lights everywhere!) Growing up, we had a digital piano that started messing up and would play some notes louder and others softer or hold out notes longer than they should. Mine is starting to do that. :( BUT, I am grateful and happy that Emma has a piano and I can practice on hers. And I am happy because he creates such beautiful music and all of his songs sound so good!
I also set up the Christmas tree on Monday night. The house was all decorated for Christmas except for the tree, and even though it killed my hands and ripped them up (seriously, so many scratches and red spots!), I am happy because the house looks so festive now and I love seeing the twinkling tree through the window.
I am happy to have Jon in my life. He makes me want to be a better person, and I love him so much. The more I'm with him, the happier I am. We do a lot of activities together and are getting to know each other more and more. I am excited to see what the future holds, but I'm pretty sure it will be positive. :) He is always giving me compliments. He's a gentleman and opens the car door and store door every single time we go somewhere. He makes me feel good about myself, and he motivates me to do good in the world and be better.
I am happy because of the holiday season. I am happy that I have people to spend it with. It may not be with my immediate family, but I am lucky to have people around me who love me and invite me to be with them during Christmas. I will miss being with my family and parents and nephews and nieces, but I am grateful for the time to spend with and grow closer to others.
I am happy and grateful to be a member of the church. I am grateful for an awesome bishop who loves all of the members in his ward and wants to help them and see them succeed. Bishop Allen is amazing and I can always feel his love for me when I talk to him.
I am happy because I have so many blessings. A job, friends, family, a roof over my head, food to eat, a car to get me places, a church that is close by, for money to buy necessities (and some unnecessary things), for warm clothes in the winter, for good health, and so much more.
It's time to focus on the good instead of the bad. Although I'm a little upset with myself for spending that much money at Rite Aid for things that were not necessary, I am happy that I will feel better about myself and look pretty. (Even though I could still use that Skin Toner Moisturizer stuff...)